Perspective

He sits, leather couch, recollecting on the past. Internal thoughts of his perspective begin to clash. He wants this to last, but how, when it seems like there always test after test …class after class. Is he moving to fast, or are they moving to slow. He searches for and answer Afraid that it will remain unknown. See, its these things that aren't shown, that causes second guesses… That cause him to sit on this leather couch, recollecting. But his perspective, begins to change. He realizes in the right rational side of his brain, that some things will never change. It’s a past… See, upon realization that a past is a past, then a future becomes more solid and a present is made to last. So he rejoices, and toasts with a glass, because his heart is all toasty whenever she even walks past. But its sad… he doesn't wanna leave, but he gotta to go. She brings him sunshine, that’s why wherever they go, she doesn't get to see snow. But once she’s gone, he’ll go back to the snow. His “toast” is gone… his nights become cold. He’s stuck now, back on a suede couch feeling froze. Thinking about the past that he may never ever know.

The Other Side

She is a ghost... a goblin... It's as if its my heart she is robbin everytime i get inside her... But its the outside that scares me. not the hips, lips, curves, and thighs... but its the eyes that makes me wanna call her shawty as I urge to be her plies... Allow me to get metaphorical... she's different than the others; she's uncategorical. an anomaly... that comes to me and makes me plead, but its not for the sweets, the sheets, the strokes, the Beats... not those by Dre. But those that have me on the Other(s) side of town each day. Soul searchin,searchin for her mind, rehearsin before each time I come into her presence to ensure i do the right thng to make her shine.... Her heart shine, and that voice.... I long for when we kiss so that as the lips touch for a moment I feel as if it is mine. It's hypnotic, forcing me to loose control of all senses and increasing bloodflow to my choractic... Did I even mention she's exotic. Brazilian ass, Black class, and puerto rican sass.... the perfect combination for that spine-tingling sensation I get as she moans when I'm deep in that... class... racin, tryna solve her equation, hopin her bell doesn't ring and she has a little patience....do I chase...am I already chasin. I dnt know... Sitting here wondering, pacing. All I know is that I'm in Love with my current situation.

The Numbers Game

4-page Letter. 3 page rhyme. My mind spins 2 ways just for 1 minute of your time. She's a dime, a 10, that I'll use my 9 lives on just to say I 8 that pussy 1 time. 7 days I stayed, 6 nights, just to learn 5 minutes be4 I brought the 3rd gift I was boyfriend #2... And to think I was sure "you da 1."

Journey of a Day

Usher said "let it burn..." like that when a young girl experiences her first perm; but its hard, because my heart continuously yearns to know that its really my turn. It hurts, real bad; like I'm crushed by 666 lbs of fresh Earth. And this dirt; it can't be cleared. That's why for the first time in years I've shed my first tear. For you, this gypsie, this mystery, who somehow I allowed to get to me. Her victory, my loss. And to think I thought that I was the Boss. Tricked me; by such a sweet treat. I just don't know if this is the last week. I'm weak, weakend, and at my weakest low. I'm dug deep in a hole because I let my heart show. Do I close; or do I try and get closer. Will I end up another memory on the wall... a poster. The questions we encounter on an emotional rollercoaster.

Unrhytmic Thoughts...

The good ones go... But is that what makes them good? Because it is as if those who stay are those who leave you played. You tell yourself you will never give your heart away... again. But you find yourself with marks on your skin; both literally and mentally. These marks, are bare reminders that you are allowing yet another to get deep; beyond your thick surface hardened by a lifetime or trials and tribulations. You're patient, with this one at least. All the other good ones were let go from the beat. Told them all to hit the street; because its this one you just may keep. Slippin' up as you choose to no longer be discrete. You stop their beats. But she keeps drumming. Subtle knocks at the door, as you open the window to your soul to look out and judge rather or not you should let this one in. You're fearful, you have trust issues... you know there's something there. Something hidden, that you just want to be revealed. You sense extra baggage, your body feels extra burdens as you look out that window. You slowly draw your curtain open... and as you open it more you feel more insecure. Two truths you are given... 1 lie remains hidden... 66%. Through one more 6 and you realize you are stuck with an evil. An evil that is a truth untold. A truth that you would like to know... Or would you? What hurts more, the untold or the mysterious. Hypotheticals. Hypo= the lack there of, against, a little.... theticals= a derivative from the base of a theory. So, I am left with little to no theories about what the truth is in the last and only lie. What is this truth. What is the reassurance. What allows you to open the window... Trust. Truth= Truth, Realness, Unconditionality, Time, HONESTY. A poem ends in a story. A story turns into a tale. A tale remains a tale... A hypothetical. Unless told.

Old Gold.

God told me that if he remains behind my eyes and sits within my soul, then i'll receive a reward way more valuable than gold. But I can only imagine what that will be... Because when this gold takes a hold I only continue to win. My yota becomes a benz, and my girl gets a matchin one... twins... all with no worries, everythings clearly when my vision is truly blurry. But there remains these moments where the gold starts to dim. and though it continues to shine bright, it is this light that keeps me up at night. It is this light that makes me fight in these classes each day. it is this light that makes me cry when I truly see my pay. This light becomes a struggle, a battle, a hassle. This light, unfortunately is the only reason some of us seek that tassle. We yearn for it to burn only to learn that if we truly discern our purpose... in the end there is a greater light to be earned. I'm just concerned... Because I know that when its my turn those gates will open, turn... or whatever they do and I'll be safe. But as I'm in this place I continue to make mistakes, I continue to chase, I continue to run on a race towards that gold... When my trophy should be a story untold. So i just pray... that as my story unfolds, I'll realize that what you have for me is greater than anything I'll ever be able to hold. And though its not shown... I am reminded in this darkness that my cover is not blown. Because it is covered in your arms, my shelter, that I feel most at home.

Keyword: M.I.A.

I send a “how are you,” and get back a one word answer; I help rid your headache, but your mad I didn’t cure your cancer. I’m like Prancer… stuck in the back of the line, waiting for the day where I will shine and can lead the chase. But every place that I go, The East, West, Cook…and even Slowe…I receive a “no…she’s not here.” And it almost causes a tear to think that one who once brought me so much cheer I now only see once a year. Why did you all of a sudden disappear…I thought you were my peer, the other half to a friendship I held dear…why can’t your image once again be clear… This is sincere. This Howard girl keeps eluding me. And it’s confusing me. Here three weeks, gone in a day…why are you all of a sudden M.I.A?

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Anonymous

Keyword: Situation

In his leg there is a vibration. He wonders whether to approach She or should he remain patient and stay at his station. His minds says take it; but it is this mere fact that lets him know that he might be mistaken. See she would be a replacement, his mind sees them all the same…just their outer frame makes him glorify them…shame. But he wants to change, but the harder and harder he tries the harder and harder erects his main vein…it’s a pain. And this constant temptation only leads to frustration…Thus worsening his…situation.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Angela Miles

Keyword: Perseverance

Through my trials and tribulations I must remain patient. My will I must not break it. But as I swim through this ocean my motions seem futile. For miles and miles I continue to go but these piles of the trials only continue to grow. I can only go slow, compared to the pace that the ones I defeat begin to be replaced. But a voice inside my head, so full of assurance whispers to me ‘Maintain you endurance.’ So I Remember, though surrounded by troubles I will reach a clearance…If I just maintain my Perseverance.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Todd Grady

Keyword: Love

This feeling that he couldn’t escape had him running as through Master’s gates across states to set the record straight. For the first time a man did all he can to retrieve the product of pleasures unplanned. No fans, or even for the money…and what made it all funny is that he could have stayed in the place known for being sunny. With no worries, trials, leaving me to be another man’s child. Sound’s wild… That a Brotha frowned and snuck around towns to end the path of a boy’s only love coming from the nipples of a night gown. Listen, instead of such trips He could of been fishing; but He couldn’t escape this feeling of a part of him missing. While on these missions he continuously sees visions…from above, sights so pure as the coat of a dove. Though he drives…He is a passenger… driven by Love.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Demetrios Thomas

Keyword: Doubt

As we pass through life we sometimes feel mistaken; were we wrong to choose the “Road not Taken?” From chicken instead of beef to stress instead of relief….Is it because of the road I chose that I now live in grief. We are told to let ‘could of’s, would of’s, and should of’s’ go, but as we grow we are more and more anxious to know what’s behind that other door that we allowed to close. We can’t help but question our Chosen route. Why is this something we can’t be sure about…Why are we so…Full of doubt...

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Ashley Thomas

Keyword: prostitution

Cast out because you lack “virtue,” old ladies in the Bible were ready to hurt you. But who knows what you have been through; kidnapped, raped, and no home to go to. And one night as the sun withdrew, he approached in a suit…blue; saying he'd Love and take care of you. And these words, were so sweet they had to be true, so they stuck to your heart quicker than super glue. And now your stuck…working a nine to five; not during the day, but the hours when the sun doesn’t shine. And no man calls you “mine,” you’re just his “dime,” the one who he calls when its time to absorb his slime. Filling your body with his pollution… will there ever be a resolution…to this problem of prostitution?

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Nick Slater

Keyword: Youth

Group shots in photo booths; loosing our first, second, and third tooth; Lying…getting beat… and wishing we’d told the truth. The things we experienced when we were just youth. But now we are older, backpacks disappeared from shoulders, soon to move down south when the weather gets colder. Regretting the fact that we didn’t live “bolder,” we go on two week trips after filing all folders. Boy how I miss the days of G.A., where I woke up, went out to play, showered, and kneeled to pray…now my hairs are turning grey…where its not bald! What would I give to once again be…small.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Kevin Cone

Keyword: Forgiveness

Once enrolled as a Follower of Christ it’s our enemy’s right to receive this gesture from me. But how am I to forget “an Eye for an eye” when this same guy battered my right knee…when my left ankle was broken. How do I deliver such a token. I wouldn’t hesitate to suggest the need for a potion to get me to carry out such motions. Like a quotient, I stand divided at a time as my mind rewinds to the lessons from Church. How do I rise from the dirt, in the midst of such hurt, How does she utter words after you violated beneath her skirt, How does a Father address a mother after termination of a birth…especially their first? How do we exercise…Forgiveness...

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Brittney Witten

Keyword: Beast

A hand emerges from a Mercedes window as a man begins to holler; The light changes as he races for what he hopes is at least a dollar. He grabs it just as the light changes; and at that very instance his demeanor rearranges. One who just felt all man had let him go now thanks God for the kindness he was just shown. But as he says Amen he can’t help but wonder, “Why each day must I continue to plunder… through and under trash as I search for cash…I’m walking by Faith; I don’t know how long I can last.” Each day he must stalk prey, covered in dirt as thick as clay; and when it rains no dry place to lay. Through storms, hail and sleet all obstacles he must defeat. Like a Monster he must scavenge for a feast; Why must a God-fearing man live like a beast.

-Dr. Thomas (I Love This one!)
Donee: Todd Grady

Keyword: Future

Born into this world to pave your way; The reason why I struggle in these classes day by day. Are u pre-determined; an act of fate? Or do I create you by working hard and not being late? Will my road to you be straight; or does it twist and turn, will I crash and burn, slip and fall...Will I even reach you at all? Set for many the first time they held a ball; In my present I’ll never know the shots you’ll call; You’ll leave me in the past if I try and stall…You are My Future.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Keturah Ellington

Keyword: Arduous; Process

I'm up late all night, trying to get this right, but now I'm all out of might...and it's still wrong. This task is so long; now weak, I was once strong; Broken down feeling as if I'm writing a prison song. Why do I work so hard just for you to discard my efforts... I gave my good, best, and even my better...And Its still like swimming in Hurricane weather. Can you please make the requirements a little less...Cause your process if just too arduous...

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Akia Dillard

Keyword: Arduous; Process

Her nest rests so high near the sky; while he doesn't cease to charge the base of the tree.Trying to have her fall, the leopard gives it his all; but she just flies away even on his closest call. His head now bleeds as he pleads for the nest to come down; to relocate and reside with him on the ground...but though he tries his best the process is just to arduous. Feeling squeezed by a bear as he gasps for air... He wonders, does he leave in despair or does he continue to charge in this exhausting affair... even if it takes him until his death chair.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Akia Dillard (In her fashion she gave me two words and two poems for the two words!)

Keyword: Luck

Was it God's will the first time we chilled; Was it divine that you became mine; was it an act of fate, that on that one day you were in that place...That I was. Or was it luck... that brought us together. 'Cause after a while I felt stuck, and the heart you once struck no longer gives a F—K. It had to be luck, cuz whatever it was ran out; and now I can say to myself without a doubt that you go one way; and I'm taking the opposite route.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Brittney Witten

Keyword: Time

The Word says time heals all wounds...But what if it's Time that causes these wounds? Do the wounds continue to fester as time progresses, or do the two times counteract one another and the wounds remain in their present state?

-Dr. Thomas

Keyword: Stress

No Drama, No Stress...Just Wanna Clean up any and All Mess; So That I can Live, You can Live, We can Live at Our Best.

-Dr. Thomas (this one was just a facebook status that I liked and decided to add)

Keyword: Rose

As I lie in my bed, thoughts of a Rose blow through my head; So slim from the root, to the shoot, to the apical meristem; and the soft petal; that can bend a heart set as firm as metal. Do you settle...for a carnation, or do you take a trip to the station which leads you on a vacation to the Rose bed...

-Dr. Thomas

Keyword: Relativity

Einstein's mind began to shine as he thought of such a notion; are these movements, these motions, the land, our oceans...relative. Is my idea of time and space erased once it leaves my brain; would I be insane to claim that it's the same thing that you obtain when the concept flows through your network of veins. Are they absolute; maintained; or are they destroyed and loose specificity, thus supporting the theory of relativity.

-Dr. Thomas
Donee: Marquita Miles

Keyword: If

If you can look Him in the Eye, not Lie and tell Him his words weren't Sweet; If You can forget this guy and bury all thoughts of Him beneath. If you can tell your mind you hate him and would never want to date him; If you truly want to escape Him; then He'll be gone. But if you ever look at the phone and feel alone when the sound of his ringtone is gone. Then maybe, just maybe; the feelings are Strong; and it'll matter not Who was in the Wrong.

-Dr. Thomas

Welcome

I'm on a Journey in my life. A Journey to become a man who can stand in the middle of quicksand with the Faith that God will bring me through. So for You I have decided to embark on a new project; one where I will recollect on an old passion to write in a somewhat "unique" fashion. See the blogs, poems, stories, and tales you will find are written as soon as a word is put into my mind. The Method, a "Donee" gives a word to me and I begin to write...hoping my mind will shine and allow me to transcribe each line within 7 minutes time. So hear it goes; You're love I hope you will so...and If one is bad, honestly...let me know. And if you have a word you'd like to see my try, please any and all don't be shy; I value input most from the little known guy. Thank You, -Dr. Thomas

Facebook: Trevor Jamal Thomas